Empty Hand Zen Center

 Unless noted otherwise, all photos are courtesy of Sandra Seirin Laureano.

The following interview with Sandra Seirin Laureano occurred over the phone and through email. Sandra started sitting with the Empty Hand Zendo in 1995. She received Jukai in 2001 before returning to Puerto Rico. After encouragement from Susan Jion Postal, Sandra’s teacher, El Grupo Zen de Cupey was created in April 9, 2008.

The above title refers to a dharma talk written for the Grupo Zen de Cupey, available in both English, "Nothing Missing,"  and in Spanish, "Nada Falta," both available here (scroll down to the titles once you get to the page.).  There is also a sutra book in Spanish, Libro de Sutras, available here.

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Catherine Seigen Spaeth:  You moved back to Puerto Rico to take care of your mother?

Sandra Seirin Laureano:  Yes, we frequently bypass death and dying while we are growing up and then it’s all around us, frequently, frequently.  We reach a certain age and our parents are ill and dying.

My father passed while I was living in the States. I would come to Puerto Rico and spend a week to ten days and go back to New York, and then no sooner than I got home, I would have to fly back.  A friend whom I consider a sister, we’ve shared most of our lifetime, took care of my parents when I was away, and would call me and say “He’s calling for you and wants to see you!”   I was in this process for about a month and a half. I had taken a three month leave from work to take the national board exams for my acupuncture practice.  On the last trip I returned to New York on a Tuesday; my exams were that following weekend.  Dad died Wednesday morning. I remember walking into the exam room, a ballroom in a hotel, and thinking “there’s no way I can pass these exams without your help dad.” He gave me a hand and I passed the exams. 

And then I decided that I didn’t want to repeat that experience with my Mom, I took those exams in October 1998.  I graduated from acupuncture school in 1999, two weeks after my son graduated from high school.  I waited for him to get used to being away from home and in college and when he was in his sophomore year I returned home to Puerto Rico, on April 4^th 2001.

Sangha members of El Grupo Zen de Cupey attending a ceremony for the viewing of relics in Puerto Rico.

CS: The Zen Group was started in April 2008, so there was a big gap of time between when you moved to Puerto Rico and when you decided to formally have a sitting group.  What was the transition like from that arrival in Puerto Rico, and deciding that you wanted to have a sangha?

SL: There were several years when I experienced different Buddhist traditions in Puerto Rico. Meanwhile, I was visiting New York regularly and sat at the Empty Hand Zendo and kept in touch with Susan.

I looked around in Puerto Rico for a place that I would feel part of and comfortable in, there are many centers in Puerto Rico I discovered, but they are mostly in the Tibetan line; they are much more ornate and into ritual, they are not as silent as we are.  It was difficult.  I talked about it with Susan and we talked about how, in a way, I needed to let go of attachment, attachment to a particular way of practice. When I visited with her during the fall 2007 sesshin, she said to me, “You know, you’ve looked around and you haven’t found a place yet. Why don’t you start a sitting group, start sitting with other people and see how it goes?”   

I called Gloria, a woman who I had been in a Buddhist reading group with and said “I want to start a sitting group in the Soto Zen tradition and want to know if you’re interested.” On April 9^th 2008 we had our first sitting as a community, there were seven of us.

Many things came together in those weeks. In a previous trip to visit Susan we had visited an antique store in Mamaroneck and we had both fallen in love with a Jizo statue most adequate for my acupuncture room.  My partner brought back a wooden carved Buddha from Indonesia in 2000. I moved from my house in the suburbs of Cupey to Old San Juan. However, the house in Cupey  continued being the place of my acupuncture practice, and it had plenty of empty space. 

Nine months after sitting began I moved my mother to the house in Cupey so she could be better cared for. At that time she was 92 and had senile dementia.

Now it all blends, sangha, acupuncture practice and my mother’s care. And it all started with Susan really listening and saying “Why don’t you start your own sitting group and see how it goes?”. And we’ve been sitting ever since.

Like with all sanghas, it’s been a process; some people stopped coming, new people came and started sitting. Initially we started sitting on towels and cushions, in May 2008 we decided to buy cushions. I talked to Susan about it and she allowed us to use the 501(c) 3 non-profit status as an affiliate and we bought what we needed  so now it looks like a real zendo.

Martha and Pedro bathing the Buddha at a relics ceremony and viewing in Puerto Rico.

What’s been really good is that Mom moved into the house with her caregivers. Luisa, one of the main caretakers had been practicing Vajrayana on and off for several years and is also a Reiki teacher.  She started sitting as soon as they moved into the house and has been a real pillar of our sangha. Together with Gloria, we have a strong continuous space for persons seeking quiet and stillness. 

CS:  How has gathering a sangha altered and strengthened your own practice as a Buddhist?

SL:  It’s all about letting go of ideas, perceptions, expectations, and desires. When we embark on a project of any nature we of course have expectations, desires and ideas as to how it should progress. Our small self immediately analyzes what’s going wrong, what we are doing wrong, or not doing.

Sitting practice helps us deal with crushed expectations, unfulfilled desires and erroneous ideas. But creating a space where people can come and experience stillness doesn’t necessarily mean that the people we invite are ready to experience it. So it’s been a continuous process of trying to not have expectations about how many people arrive or how long they stay.

Others will arrive at their own pace. Ideas of whether I’m ready to facilitate sitting in silence and stillness is a recurrent question that I try to look at and not answer. The relation between my own practice/understanding and people’s arrival also is a recurrent theme.

So the house where I used to live has become a space that accommodates many different needs for those who are near it; it’s been a real blessing to have the space.  Right now we have around five regular sitters. Last year when we had our first anniversary we had nine people that came to sit and shared tea and cookies afterward. Late last year we visited the Buddhas’ relics and there were 13 of us. For half day retreats we’ll have five to seven people.  2010 is the first year that we will have pre-set dates through the year for our retreats.  We receive dana, and we’ve been able to help Haitians affected by the 2008 floods and the 2010 earthquake. We’ve also supported East Asian immigrants who were abandoned in 2009.  We are now thinking of buying additional zafus for the zen group.

From Puerto Rico, Sandra and Gloria together at the October 2008 Empty Hand Zen Center retreat in Garrison, New York.

CS: How have you remained in touch with Empty Hand and what has this meant to you?

SL:  Susan’s guidance and support have been essential to what has grown here.  She and I have been reading Dogen together back and forth over the phone, and we speak about what touches us and inspires our practice.

I usually give her an update on what is happening and she provides feedback and offers suggestions. Her encouragement to get the word out about our zen group has been helpful as well. We produced a flyer and distributed close to 400 copies. Susan has also prepared dharma talks specifically for our group, which I have translated into Spanish. At times someone that sits with us will have a question for Susan that I will pass on.  She and I talk about it and I bring back a response.

CS:  As you describe the house your mother is very nearby through all of this, how is she a part of all that’s happening there?

SL:  My mother came when she had already started showing signs of senile dementia. I think it’s been great for her because when she moved into the house she was very hyper, and I’ve tried to keep her on minimal necessary medication; we work with homeopathic remedies, reiki, massages and music. The peacefulness that comes with sitting practice has benefitted her. Although she manifests episodes of hyperactivity it is no longer fearful or tearful.  She has moved on to a very peaceful kind of just being there in the house; she’s not anxious, she smiles, she’ll dance, she danced with me yesterday.   She’s moved to this better place which is good, I think she has benefited unknowingly from the practice, from the energy that is here.